Saturday, July 30, 2016
Friday, July 29, 2016
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
Monday, July 25, 2016
Because I am female,should I be a feminist?
Greetings All; Shardvixen here;
When I was a young child, there were rules in our house how a 'young lady' was to act. My mom made me wear dresses till I was in Jr. High. When made me the targeting of bullies (girls who were setting the fashion based on the times). I enter high school in the year of 1979-80. When I was 16 years old, I was introduce to NOW, the National Organization for Women, because I wanted a world where being a women was no different than being a man. It didn't mean I wanted to be a man, but I thought the standards were wrong.
I had read their statement of purpose and agreed with it at the time.(I still agree with it)
http://now.org/about/history/statement-of-purpose/
The above link is in case you want to read it for yourself.
It made me mad that because I carried the eggs rather than the fertilizer, I couldn't do a lot of things. And even if I pushed for all other to agree with me and allow me to do what I wanted, I would be shamed, shunned and in some cases abused, harassed and harmed. And now that happens not only to those standing up for the rights of all but those standing against. No one should be shamed, harmed,or abused for their beliefs no matter how stupid anyone believes the beliefs to be. If the beliefs do damage or harm to others, then education and punishment should come from a law enforcement agency, not from society itself.
I have biases against arranged marriage and the concept and culture around marriage. I have biases against surgery changing children to ensure a good bride price or small boys for jockies. I have a biases against child marriages arranged by parents. I have a biases against religions which don't allow a female to have say over her own body and her own mind and emotions. I have biases against cultures where the husband is allowed to beat, shun and even kill his wife or wives. I have a biases over cultures which allow abandonment of children (especially females) to the nature or a trash bin. I have biases against stories which have women as victims in life and only a male can save them.
I love the story of Cinderella and the other princesses but even as a young girl, I understood that all of them were nothing without their prince. I wanted to read different stories to my daughter. Stories like Disney's Brave where a girl takes control of her own life and saves whatever or whoever besides herself. I loved stories where women were strong because I knew women could be strong even in societies where they were not encouraged or allowed to be.
I am sure it seems to you I am a feminist but the reality is I am a equalitist because I want the same things for my son and grandson. I want them to not be shunned because they want to live a life where they can stay home and be the caretaker of their children, where their heroes will be women as well as men, where they can be allowed to cry when feeling pain or joy, where they can let us women protect them. A world where there will be stories of Cinderfella(which is a movie with Jerry Lewis) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0053716/ Very funny movie, maybe it will be talked about in my vlog.
I still believe in the NOW statement but I don't just want to be a feminist, I want to make aware that even though my son is part of the white, male privilege he still gets treated like the stereotypical male. women will expect him to open the door, not to hit them even if they hit him first, that he can't possibly be heterosexual if he likes pink or wants to wear a "female" tshirt. Or if he does choose to be homosexual and likes pink or fashion he must be the more feminine male. Part of this goes to what we think gender means and the stereotypical roles we place on being one sex or another.
There are groups in the world who say they are for feminism but at the same time wish to punish males for just being male, punish them because they have a penis and sperm. I will not be linked to such a group. Just as there are groups who hate females because they are female. I believe we should all be pansexual and there shouldn't be any stereotypical gender roles created by society.
As a female, society is for the most part more acceptable of me wearing no makeup than a male wearing makeup. I can wear pants now and carry a wallet and still be seen as a female, while my son wears a dress and purse could be ridiculed, shamed, and/or shunned as well as harmed.
When I was marching for equal rights it was the belief that men could keep the rights they had and women would just have the same rights. That of course, isn't the way the story went. But I will keep working on that kind of world for my children and their children and so on till we are all equal and it won't matter what sex we are. Hopefully all of you will want a world like that too!
I am outta here. Catch you on the flipside! Peace!
When I was a young child, there were rules in our house how a 'young lady' was to act. My mom made me wear dresses till I was in Jr. High. When made me the targeting of bullies (girls who were setting the fashion based on the times). I enter high school in the year of 1979-80. When I was 16 years old, I was introduce to NOW, the National Organization for Women, because I wanted a world where being a women was no different than being a man. It didn't mean I wanted to be a man, but I thought the standards were wrong.
I had read their statement of purpose and agreed with it at the time.(I still agree with it)
http://now.org/about/history/statement-of-purpose/
The above link is in case you want to read it for yourself.
It made me mad that because I carried the eggs rather than the fertilizer, I couldn't do a lot of things. And even if I pushed for all other to agree with me and allow me to do what I wanted, I would be shamed, shunned and in some cases abused, harassed and harmed. And now that happens not only to those standing up for the rights of all but those standing against. No one should be shamed, harmed,or abused for their beliefs no matter how stupid anyone believes the beliefs to be. If the beliefs do damage or harm to others, then education and punishment should come from a law enforcement agency, not from society itself.
I have biases against arranged marriage and the concept and culture around marriage. I have biases against surgery changing children to ensure a good bride price or small boys for jockies. I have a biases against child marriages arranged by parents. I have a biases against religions which don't allow a female to have say over her own body and her own mind and emotions. I have biases against cultures where the husband is allowed to beat, shun and even kill his wife or wives. I have a biases over cultures which allow abandonment of children (especially females) to the nature or a trash bin. I have biases against stories which have women as victims in life and only a male can save them.
I love the story of Cinderella and the other princesses but even as a young girl, I understood that all of them were nothing without their prince. I wanted to read different stories to my daughter. Stories like Disney's Brave where a girl takes control of her own life and saves whatever or whoever besides herself. I loved stories where women were strong because I knew women could be strong even in societies where they were not encouraged or allowed to be.
I am sure it seems to you I am a feminist but the reality is I am a equalitist because I want the same things for my son and grandson. I want them to not be shunned because they want to live a life where they can stay home and be the caretaker of their children, where their heroes will be women as well as men, where they can be allowed to cry when feeling pain or joy, where they can let us women protect them. A world where there will be stories of Cinderfella(which is a movie with Jerry Lewis) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0053716/ Very funny movie, maybe it will be talked about in my vlog.
I still believe in the NOW statement but I don't just want to be a feminist, I want to make aware that even though my son is part of the white, male privilege he still gets treated like the stereotypical male. women will expect him to open the door, not to hit them even if they hit him first, that he can't possibly be heterosexual if he likes pink or wants to wear a "female" tshirt. Or if he does choose to be homosexual and likes pink or fashion he must be the more feminine male. Part of this goes to what we think gender means and the stereotypical roles we place on being one sex or another.
There are groups in the world who say they are for feminism but at the same time wish to punish males for just being male, punish them because they have a penis and sperm. I will not be linked to such a group. Just as there are groups who hate females because they are female. I believe we should all be pansexual and there shouldn't be any stereotypical gender roles created by society.
As a female, society is for the most part more acceptable of me wearing no makeup than a male wearing makeup. I can wear pants now and carry a wallet and still be seen as a female, while my son wears a dress and purse could be ridiculed, shamed, and/or shunned as well as harmed.
When I was marching for equal rights it was the belief that men could keep the rights they had and women would just have the same rights. That of course, isn't the way the story went. But I will keep working on that kind of world for my children and their children and so on till we are all equal and it won't matter what sex we are. Hopefully all of you will want a world like that too!
I am outta here. Catch you on the flipside! Peace!
Sunday, July 24, 2016
Friday, July 22, 2016
Thursday, July 21, 2016
Wednesday, July 20, 2016
Sometimes Life just Seems a bit hard or just Rambling Along
Greetings All; Shardvixen here,
Out side my bedroom window there is a small child(not of mine) yelling Mommy, over and over again but when I go out to see what is going on, she shys away from me. Because she once told her mother I look like a monster. My looks don't seem so horrific to me but then I don't really see much value in looks. If the bottle is pretty but the contains are disgusting, I guess you can always walk away with the pretty bottle but that is about it.
If only people were bottles and you could find the outside you like and replace it with the inside you loved. But sometimes I think people already do that and either pretend to be happy with their choices or are all lying through their teeth about it. I don't know and for the most part I don't care. We all get old, we all get flabby and we all get slow.( Unless you got under the knife and I don't think that helps with the slow part). It makes me think of the Jane Fonda's character in Grace and Frankie. She doesn't eat ever or very little. I am not sure I want to live like that so I won't gain weight. I am currently taking a medicine which causes weight gain, and rapid weight gain. It is horrible. It also makes me want to gorge on food. I am nausea upon waking so I don't eat till after 10am, then once I do eat, I just want to eat and eat and eat. It is such a strange feeling. It use to only happen every once in a while with sugar when I was depressed. I can remember all the times in the past, which were only a few times.
My son and I watched "Stranger Things" on Netflix. I really liked it. It had just enough creepiness to it to scare my son but not too much that he couldn't watch it. I didn't watch scary movies until I was over 17 years old. I had a friend who was big into those, so I got taken to a few. I saw the 1st Halloween at the drive in thearter in my hometown. I went to see "Ghost Story " in the movie theaters and it scared me so bad, I had to leave. I didn't finish watching the story until I was in my 40s with another friend. I have too much of an active imagination and anxiety issues to watch horror films though I have a few favorites, which I will share on my vlog.
So my vlog is taking a bit to get up and running. 1. because I am getting ready to do a video for National Dance Day to sent to DizzyFeet.org as a celebration of that day. I am slowly turning my room into my filming area as well. I was gone for a bit to pick up my son in another state and that seemed to wreak havoc on my Youtube schedule. I am still trying to get back on track.
The things I still need to do are:
1. Backdrop for the Lloyd and Lilli show which is my comment show.
2.Finish mask and costume for vlog series.
3.Do more thumbnails and a trailer.
4. Set up a schedule for the crafting videos.
5. Clean up and make nice both channels.
6. Get a schedule set up for social media.
Eventually I will make new puppets because I am not liking how Lillie and Lloyd turned out but I want to start getting comments video.
My physical and mental health are about the same. I get really tired and sore from just braushing my teeth and hair. And no one still know what is wrong with me. Story of my life.
I think what was done to Leslie Jones was shameful. It was even more shameful that we allow stuff like that to happen. Twitter and other social media need to understand about abuse. The abuser doesn't get to decide what is harmful or not, only those on the receiving end. We also should never ignore such behavior even if it can not be punished by the law, we as a society need to say we will not put up with. It is the same as saying bullying doesn't exist online. It does and it is even harder to get help for it then in real life. When people tell others to ignore it or to toughen up, it is because they too feel helpless and don't know how to help. Listening to a person tell you what is happening is good and letting them know they are right in their feelings and validate their feelings even if it isn't how you would deal with it.
I have found that people can be cruel for all kinds of reasons and this is true for me since I have been five. There have been bullies forever and we have allowed them to exist. There have been hidden racists and we have allowed them to exist and there have been hidden sexists( I find, in my experience, some women can be the worse sexist and they take it out on you when you call them out on it). Shaming people because of your own dislikes or faults is bad. Become educated and help stop people from hurting others so we have a wonderful world. That is what I work for every day.
I am outta here, catch you all on the flipside, Chow!
Out side my bedroom window there is a small child(not of mine) yelling Mommy, over and over again but when I go out to see what is going on, she shys away from me. Because she once told her mother I look like a monster. My looks don't seem so horrific to me but then I don't really see much value in looks. If the bottle is pretty but the contains are disgusting, I guess you can always walk away with the pretty bottle but that is about it.
If only people were bottles and you could find the outside you like and replace it with the inside you loved. But sometimes I think people already do that and either pretend to be happy with their choices or are all lying through their teeth about it. I don't know and for the most part I don't care. We all get old, we all get flabby and we all get slow.( Unless you got under the knife and I don't think that helps with the slow part). It makes me think of the Jane Fonda's character in Grace and Frankie. She doesn't eat ever or very little. I am not sure I want to live like that so I won't gain weight. I am currently taking a medicine which causes weight gain, and rapid weight gain. It is horrible. It also makes me want to gorge on food. I am nausea upon waking so I don't eat till after 10am, then once I do eat, I just want to eat and eat and eat. It is such a strange feeling. It use to only happen every once in a while with sugar when I was depressed. I can remember all the times in the past, which were only a few times.
My son and I watched "Stranger Things" on Netflix. I really liked it. It had just enough creepiness to it to scare my son but not too much that he couldn't watch it. I didn't watch scary movies until I was over 17 years old. I had a friend who was big into those, so I got taken to a few. I saw the 1st Halloween at the drive in thearter in my hometown. I went to see "Ghost Story " in the movie theaters and it scared me so bad, I had to leave. I didn't finish watching the story until I was in my 40s with another friend. I have too much of an active imagination and anxiety issues to watch horror films though I have a few favorites, which I will share on my vlog.
So my vlog is taking a bit to get up and running. 1. because I am getting ready to do a video for National Dance Day to sent to DizzyFeet.org as a celebration of that day. I am slowly turning my room into my filming area as well. I was gone for a bit to pick up my son in another state and that seemed to wreak havoc on my Youtube schedule. I am still trying to get back on track.
The things I still need to do are:
1. Backdrop for the Lloyd and Lilli show which is my comment show.
2.Finish mask and costume for vlog series.
3.Do more thumbnails and a trailer.
4. Set up a schedule for the crafting videos.
5. Clean up and make nice both channels.
6. Get a schedule set up for social media.
Eventually I will make new puppets because I am not liking how Lillie and Lloyd turned out but I want to start getting comments video.
My physical and mental health are about the same. I get really tired and sore from just braushing my teeth and hair. And no one still know what is wrong with me. Story of my life.
I think what was done to Leslie Jones was shameful. It was even more shameful that we allow stuff like that to happen. Twitter and other social media need to understand about abuse. The abuser doesn't get to decide what is harmful or not, only those on the receiving end. We also should never ignore such behavior even if it can not be punished by the law, we as a society need to say we will not put up with. It is the same as saying bullying doesn't exist online. It does and it is even harder to get help for it then in real life. When people tell others to ignore it or to toughen up, it is because they too feel helpless and don't know how to help. Listening to a person tell you what is happening is good and letting them know they are right in their feelings and validate their feelings even if it isn't how you would deal with it.
I have found that people can be cruel for all kinds of reasons and this is true for me since I have been five. There have been bullies forever and we have allowed them to exist. There have been hidden racists and we have allowed them to exist and there have been hidden sexists( I find, in my experience, some women can be the worse sexist and they take it out on you when you call them out on it). Shaming people because of your own dislikes or faults is bad. Become educated and help stop people from hurting others so we have a wonderful world. That is what I work for every day.
I am outta here, catch you all on the flipside, Chow!
Monday, July 18, 2016
Friday, July 15, 2016
Being a Youtuber is hard
Greetings all; Shardvixen here,
I have to say in the short time, as far as youtube channels go, I have been creating and uploading videos, youtubing is like all other things in life. It looks really easy but in reality it is hard work. Don't get me wrong. The creating of the videos and the uploading them is really easy so I am pretty accomplished in that. It is making a successful youtube channel, that people will visit and watch.
I have been thinking about if I want this to be a hobby or a career. If it is a career, it will be very slow work because being disable makes doing some of these things hard believe it or not. Time is an issue as well. So for now, it is a hobby which may or may not work into being a career or job. All will depend on whether or not the doctors can figure out what is wrong with my shoulder and other parts of my body and then whether of not I have to get a job outside of my home.
There are factors I have to look at if I want to make this my job within my home.
1. How to carve out time when I am battling pain and watching my grandson.
2. How do I sell myself when I can barely get people on or off line to take time to view my videos?
3. Do I have the time to do my blog, my writing, my videoing and social media because right now I can barely keep up with Facebook.
4. Even with my skills at time management, it is hard to find the time to edit, explore blender, write, record and create content when I have doctor, therapist and job readiness training ( which we determine if I can work)
5. Making money with youtube requires you have views. To get the views regularly, you need a good subscriber base ( family and friends don't work, if they don't watch your videos and mine don't so either way it is a bust for me.)
6. I need the views if I want to make the bucks. For many of the youtubers, I have research: it has taken any where from 2- 3 years to get to a spot where they are making livable money. So if I start now and I can get the subscribers which I haven't really at this time, I could be making money by 2020. I will be 55 years old. This plan is based on me doing this full time rather than part time.
7. The above plan is also based on growth which states you should be able to double your views by every 3 to 6 months.
25 viewers within 6 months to 50 within a year is a bit slower than I had guessed I would be doing and I am not even at 25. It is possible that my content is boring and too long and I am not funny enough watch. So getting the 25 may be a bit more challenging than I first thought. By the 1st year you should have 100 based on other channels growth. 11/2 would give 200 if you are really slow. By the 2n year you need to be hustling to get to 1000. I have figured I would need to pull in If you are being paid the base cost of 2 dollars per view, then a channel would need to be having for each video at least 500 views which would give you you around 500 dollars after Youtube took their cut. In my case if every video did that I would be able to make about 1,500 per day. But I know and you know nothing ever goes the way one plans. But it is possible is you could keep the 500 views steady to make that. Which means if you did get paid for every video and every view, in my case you could pull in about $1800 per month. Something I can't imagine but can at the same time. It would be so nice.
At this point, I need to think about if I want to allow adds at the beginning of my videos, because that is another way you get paid, as well as being sponsored. But to be sponsored you also have to have some notoriety among the viewers because companies aren't going to pay this fox to say "yum. I love.....( ) and you should too" because no one out there cares what I am doing right now.
So while I am thinking about the money, it is at this time at the bottom of things I want from my channel. I want to make content I like and maybe find others who like it as well, create creative videos for entertainment and have fun learning how to do it all and make it look beau-tee-ful at the same time.
I had though of making crafting and behavioral help videos for about two years before I decided to upload my first gaming video. I had thought of making a crafting studio where I could show people how to make things cheaply. I was going to us Umdemy( I think that is how it is spelled) to sell my videos. Then one day, a very painful day for me because I had to stop doing my volunteer work due to pain and mental health issues) I was watching Jacksepticeye for my son and he said, "You...you should make your own channel." And I though, yes I should. Granted at the time, I really though it was an easy thing to do, shame on me. But even with all the hard work, I find it really fun 95% of the time. The other five percent is my most painful days when I am so tired, I can't think, I just can't think to do any thing.
So I will keep working on my channels. I will keep blogging about them especially when it seems I will never go any where with it and will never see 25, 30, 40 , 50 or 100 viewers and views. I will keep writing down what I want to do and keep pushing through my lack of knowledge, equipment or personality to find out where this path will eventually lead me.
I also promise to check back to this blog every six months(if I can remember) to see if any growth has accuse. Hopefully more people will read these as well.
I am outta here, catch you on the flipside. Peace.
I have to say in the short time, as far as youtube channels go, I have been creating and uploading videos, youtubing is like all other things in life. It looks really easy but in reality it is hard work. Don't get me wrong. The creating of the videos and the uploading them is really easy so I am pretty accomplished in that. It is making a successful youtube channel, that people will visit and watch.
I have been thinking about if I want this to be a hobby or a career. If it is a career, it will be very slow work because being disable makes doing some of these things hard believe it or not. Time is an issue as well. So for now, it is a hobby which may or may not work into being a career or job. All will depend on whether or not the doctors can figure out what is wrong with my shoulder and other parts of my body and then whether of not I have to get a job outside of my home.
There are factors I have to look at if I want to make this my job within my home.
1. How to carve out time when I am battling pain and watching my grandson.
2. How do I sell myself when I can barely get people on or off line to take time to view my videos?
3. Do I have the time to do my blog, my writing, my videoing and social media because right now I can barely keep up with Facebook.
4. Even with my skills at time management, it is hard to find the time to edit, explore blender, write, record and create content when I have doctor, therapist and job readiness training ( which we determine if I can work)
5. Making money with youtube requires you have views. To get the views regularly, you need a good subscriber base ( family and friends don't work, if they don't watch your videos and mine don't so either way it is a bust for me.)
6. I need the views if I want to make the bucks. For many of the youtubers, I have research: it has taken any where from 2- 3 years to get to a spot where they are making livable money. So if I start now and I can get the subscribers which I haven't really at this time, I could be making money by 2020. I will be 55 years old. This plan is based on me doing this full time rather than part time.
7. The above plan is also based on growth which states you should be able to double your views by every 3 to 6 months.
25 viewers within 6 months to 50 within a year is a bit slower than I had guessed I would be doing and I am not even at 25. It is possible that my content is boring and too long and I am not funny enough watch. So getting the 25 may be a bit more challenging than I first thought. By the 1st year you should have 100 based on other channels growth. 11/2 would give 200 if you are really slow. By the 2n year you need to be hustling to get to 1000. I have figured I would need to pull in If you are being paid the base cost of 2 dollars per view, then a channel would need to be having for each video at least 500 views which would give you you around 500 dollars after Youtube took their cut. In my case if every video did that I would be able to make about 1,500 per day. But I know and you know nothing ever goes the way one plans. But it is possible is you could keep the 500 views steady to make that. Which means if you did get paid for every video and every view, in my case you could pull in about $1800 per month. Something I can't imagine but can at the same time. It would be so nice.
At this point, I need to think about if I want to allow adds at the beginning of my videos, because that is another way you get paid, as well as being sponsored. But to be sponsored you also have to have some notoriety among the viewers because companies aren't going to pay this fox to say "yum. I love.....( ) and you should too" because no one out there cares what I am doing right now.
So while I am thinking about the money, it is at this time at the bottom of things I want from my channel. I want to make content I like and maybe find others who like it as well, create creative videos for entertainment and have fun learning how to do it all and make it look beau-tee-ful at the same time.
I had though of making crafting and behavioral help videos for about two years before I decided to upload my first gaming video. I had thought of making a crafting studio where I could show people how to make things cheaply. I was going to us Umdemy( I think that is how it is spelled) to sell my videos. Then one day, a very painful day for me because I had to stop doing my volunteer work due to pain and mental health issues) I was watching Jacksepticeye for my son and he said, "You...you should make your own channel." And I though, yes I should. Granted at the time, I really though it was an easy thing to do, shame on me. But even with all the hard work, I find it really fun 95% of the time. The other five percent is my most painful days when I am so tired, I can't think, I just can't think to do any thing.
So I will keep working on my channels. I will keep blogging about them especially when it seems I will never go any where with it and will never see 25, 30, 40 , 50 or 100 viewers and views. I will keep writing down what I want to do and keep pushing through my lack of knowledge, equipment or personality to find out where this path will eventually lead me.
I also promise to check back to this blog every six months(if I can remember) to see if any growth has accuse. Hopefully more people will read these as well.
I am outta here, catch you on the flipside. Peace.
Wednesday, July 13, 2016
Monday, July 11, 2016
Sunday, July 10, 2016
Saturday, July 9, 2016
Friday, July 8, 2016
Wednesday, July 6, 2016
Monday, July 4, 2016
The 4th of July
Greetings All; Shardvixen Here.
When I was growing up the 4th of July mean parades, military, picnics and fireworks. It also was family and my grandfather's birthday. He was born July 5th but since he and my grandmother always did BBQs with the whole family around, I am guessing it became a thing my grandmother did because my grandfather hated his birthday as much as he hated the 4th.
He didn't hate it because he hated America but because of the fireworks. The loud booms and bright fiery lights along with a potential for harm to his children and eventually his grandchildren. He would have rather stayed in his room watching Benny Hill or some other show he loved. I too had a problem with fireworks from an early age. Mine was geared from anxiety of being told what could happen to you if you weren't careful and the things left to my imagination. I have a really big imagination and it was even bigger when I was a child.
My grandfather suffered from anxiety as well but his came from his bout in basic training when for WW2. He was seen as a failure due to him having a mental breakdown and being hospitalized for it. Down the road of recovery, he was sent home only to be shamed by those around him for not being strong enough to go to war and do what needed to be done. All of his peers were able to do so and if we look at the time through cultural lenses , we know how patriotic a solider was and the people were all behind it.
As a child, I didn't understand any of that, all I knew was I could go sit by my grandfather and no one would pick on me because I was afraid of sparklers. I like seeing the sparks but I didn't want to be near them or touch them. I was fearful of them well into my teens.
Thinking of my grandfather who due to passing on, never got to meet my children. He never got to know I explained to them the real meaning of fireworks and why we used them to celebrate this day. I loved watching "1776" a musical about the signing of the 4th of July. Which I have shared with my children. The fireworks are a visual event showing what the sky may have seemed like during a war, the war which defined us as a nation and define us as Americans. A country young in comparison to the other world powers at the time. It is a visual reminder that this country was conceived through violence and fear to gain simple freedoms that many of us have forgotten because we want more for ourselves.
I love being an American but I don't always love what that means. I have gone from one state to another and been treated badly because of the state I use to live in when in reality we are one big country. One big county which seems to be at war within itself.
A part of me is still afraid of fireworks which is why I don't really go to see them or use them. My children always spent it with their fathers allowing me the ability to watch or read about the myths which still roam around in our cultural about what it means to be patriotic. To me it doesn't mean I have to agree with everything the government states, I don't have to stand under one god, I can own or not own a gun, I should honor whether or not I believe in war, veterans and others who have given body parts or lives to make sure there are no wars on our home-front.
I am proud to be an American so I can make the changes needed to make this a great place for my children and grandchild. A place where everyone can be what they want without fear, where people could keep a hold on to their culture without fear of losing themselves in the domain white myth of America. We are not there yet but fireworks do bring people together.
As a child, I wondered how did people from the countries we fought felt during 4th of July. Those who sought refuge here, did they feel safe on this day. Do the fireworks become a symbol of freedom to them. Do the Germans who came here feel the patriotic surge that fireworks are suppose to ignite? I do not know. I have asked a few but many from that time, pretended to only be Americans and didn't want to think about where they had come from. I know there are many Americans who don't feel free either. There are many who feel imprisoned by this country because it doesn't encompass all who live here. It has been hard on those who were here first but were overwhelmed by those who felt they owned this country.
I know many Native American who do not celebrate 4th of July and do not see themselves as Americans in the way white Americans do. They see the flashes of light celebrating a birth of a country as the death of thousands of their own including their children and their way of life.
I believe it is important to remember that this county was built with death, sickness and lies but such is the way of countries. If it was in my power, I would create a country not built on pain, fear or violence but with love, compassion and understanding. I would not use fireworks as a way to celebrate but rather art created by those who were part of the country.
As I listen to the booms and shrieks of firecrackers, I think of my grandfather who let me hid with him. He was very patrotic but no one ever believed that because he hated the fireworks, so some how that meant he hated the country. He didn't. He saw himself the same way others did as a failure because he couldn't stand violence of any type. We can all celebrate this country in our own way and keep trying to shape it into a place where the fireworks would only be flashes of lights to light up the dark with joy and love.
May you celebrate this day in our own way or not. Peace be with you! Be well, be safe and most of all be happy friends. Catch you on the flipside. I'm outta here. Chow!
When I was growing up the 4th of July mean parades, military, picnics and fireworks. It also was family and my grandfather's birthday. He was born July 5th but since he and my grandmother always did BBQs with the whole family around, I am guessing it became a thing my grandmother did because my grandfather hated his birthday as much as he hated the 4th.
He didn't hate it because he hated America but because of the fireworks. The loud booms and bright fiery lights along with a potential for harm to his children and eventually his grandchildren. He would have rather stayed in his room watching Benny Hill or some other show he loved. I too had a problem with fireworks from an early age. Mine was geared from anxiety of being told what could happen to you if you weren't careful and the things left to my imagination. I have a really big imagination and it was even bigger when I was a child.
My grandfather suffered from anxiety as well but his came from his bout in basic training when for WW2. He was seen as a failure due to him having a mental breakdown and being hospitalized for it. Down the road of recovery, he was sent home only to be shamed by those around him for not being strong enough to go to war and do what needed to be done. All of his peers were able to do so and if we look at the time through cultural lenses , we know how patriotic a solider was and the people were all behind it.
As a child, I didn't understand any of that, all I knew was I could go sit by my grandfather and no one would pick on me because I was afraid of sparklers. I like seeing the sparks but I didn't want to be near them or touch them. I was fearful of them well into my teens.
Thinking of my grandfather who due to passing on, never got to meet my children. He never got to know I explained to them the real meaning of fireworks and why we used them to celebrate this day. I loved watching "1776" a musical about the signing of the 4th of July. Which I have shared with my children. The fireworks are a visual event showing what the sky may have seemed like during a war, the war which defined us as a nation and define us as Americans. A country young in comparison to the other world powers at the time. It is a visual reminder that this country was conceived through violence and fear to gain simple freedoms that many of us have forgotten because we want more for ourselves.
I love being an American but I don't always love what that means. I have gone from one state to another and been treated badly because of the state I use to live in when in reality we are one big country. One big county which seems to be at war within itself.
A part of me is still afraid of fireworks which is why I don't really go to see them or use them. My children always spent it with their fathers allowing me the ability to watch or read about the myths which still roam around in our cultural about what it means to be patriotic. To me it doesn't mean I have to agree with everything the government states, I don't have to stand under one god, I can own or not own a gun, I should honor whether or not I believe in war, veterans and others who have given body parts or lives to make sure there are no wars on our home-front.
I am proud to be an American so I can make the changes needed to make this a great place for my children and grandchild. A place where everyone can be what they want without fear, where people could keep a hold on to their culture without fear of losing themselves in the domain white myth of America. We are not there yet but fireworks do bring people together.
As a child, I wondered how did people from the countries we fought felt during 4th of July. Those who sought refuge here, did they feel safe on this day. Do the fireworks become a symbol of freedom to them. Do the Germans who came here feel the patriotic surge that fireworks are suppose to ignite? I do not know. I have asked a few but many from that time, pretended to only be Americans and didn't want to think about where they had come from. I know there are many Americans who don't feel free either. There are many who feel imprisoned by this country because it doesn't encompass all who live here. It has been hard on those who were here first but were overwhelmed by those who felt they owned this country.
I know many Native American who do not celebrate 4th of July and do not see themselves as Americans in the way white Americans do. They see the flashes of light celebrating a birth of a country as the death of thousands of their own including their children and their way of life.
I believe it is important to remember that this county was built with death, sickness and lies but such is the way of countries. If it was in my power, I would create a country not built on pain, fear or violence but with love, compassion and understanding. I would not use fireworks as a way to celebrate but rather art created by those who were part of the country.
As I listen to the booms and shrieks of firecrackers, I think of my grandfather who let me hid with him. He was very patrotic but no one ever believed that because he hated the fireworks, so some how that meant he hated the country. He didn't. He saw himself the same way others did as a failure because he couldn't stand violence of any type. We can all celebrate this country in our own way and keep trying to shape it into a place where the fireworks would only be flashes of lights to light up the dark with joy and love.
May you celebrate this day in our own way or not. Peace be with you! Be well, be safe and most of all be happy friends. Catch you on the flipside. I'm outta here. Chow!
Friday, July 1, 2016
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